First things first, if you've found your way to this page.. welcome! And thank you for joining me as I share my story. If you're here because you've also suffered a loss then I hope that you might find some comfort or help here in my little corner of the internet. That is after all why I decided to start this blog, in the hopes of helping others through similar situations.
I'm sure that my situation however is quite particular, losing a spouse so young to cancer right after welcoming a little life into the world. But grief doesn't discriminate, we will all be affected at some point or other, I guess I am just one of the unlucky ones to have it happen to me in the early part of my life. As much as I wish none of this would have happened, of course as with any hardship in life it is an opportunity for learning and growth. At least that's how I'm choosing to see it, it helps to stay positive during the tougher moments. And to be honest I've come to the realization recently that if you asked me if I would change things, I think strangely my answer would actually be no. Isn't that kind of crazy? Of course, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want my Ric back with me, I want that more than anything. But I have grown so much throughout this whole 'journey' and I think I am a much stronger person now and I have a much different outlook on life. I like the person that I have grown to become, and how much less I 'sweat the small stuff'. So to be honest I'm not sure I would want to change that part. I suppose also being forced into solo parenting I've really been able to fully discover my role as a mother. I am confident that I can do this by myself, that doesn't mean it's always easy .. but I know that I can do it, and that's something quite powerful.
I haven't always felt like this mind, the beginning after the loss was awful. The absolute worst few months of my life, and to be honest I'm thankful that I am still here today to write this because there was a moment when I wasn't sure I would be. But that is a topic for another post as I do think it's important to share. I also wouldn't have believed you had you told me a year ago that I would use happiness and grief in the same breath. But here we are. I guess time does help a bit, I used to hate that saying "Time heals".. I couldn't imagine ever feeling ok again. But as hard as it has been and as hard as it is still sometimes, life does continue and the world does keep spinning.
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